After 59 Michigan Winters (I lived five years out of state) I’ve developed a love-hate relationship with the county snow plow. Dog lovers (me included) know what it’s like; you love them as companions and friends and hate them when you’re cleaning up the yard after they do their duty.
I love it when the plow comes by and keeps my road clean, especially when I enjoy another one of those 100 inch winters (yes, yesterday’s blizzard put us Grand Rapidians into triple digits for this season). I hate it when I have to go remove the leftovers from the foot of my driveway. In honor of yet another post plowing driveway clearing occasion I propose an addition to the lexicon of us folk living in the land of winter snows; wait for it…plow-poop.
Plow-poop: noun, 1. the lumpy brown and white mass of snow, sand, salt and ice chunks deposited at the foot of a driveway during the clearing of public streets by government vehicles. 2. The pile of aforementioned material left in the center of a cul-de-sac during a single pass of a snow plow. 3. The triangular mass of the aforementioned material left in a “T” intersection during a single pass of a snow plow. 4. The pile of sand and salt left in the middle of the street by a plow as it pauses during its plowing activities and fails to also pause the dispenser.
Yes folks, just think of your snow shovel, snow blower, or snow thrower as an oversized pooper-scooper! I’m just glad I don’t have to collect all of that stuff in a bag and throw it in my trash, particularly since most of my front yard is covered with up to five feet of the stuff. Considering we’ve only hit the freezing mark for a high about ten times in the last seventy five days, I may have to live with some serious plow-poop for awhile. At least, for now, it’s not in my driveway. Oh, and it doesn’t smell!
I think it’s time to talk to the Merriam-Webster people about updating their dictionary…Pops